Hi, I thought I saw your car.
Hi, I thought I saw your car.
Hey mum.
You'll never guess who got published!
Who?
David Scott.
The David Scott?
What's all this about?
I see you read my notes.
What do you mean you're not going to mark it?
Not until you give me the rewrite.
Rewrite? Why would I give you a rewrite? This is good.
Yes, you're right, it's good, but it could be great. The setting was a bold choice and to some extent you make it work. But there are a couple of details that are just off.
That's called artistic license.
You managed to give the protagonist a few endearing flaws and the character of Tom is interestingly developed.
Yeah right, so what's the problem?
Well, it's the plot really.
The class didn't seem to mind the plot. They loved it. They were laughing out there.
I admit it did have some funny moments.
Funny, I'm the best writer in this class.
You need to consider the theme. The plot isn't always a series of actions or events, you know. What do you want to say about the human experience?
What?
How do your characters and their dilemmas reveal that? If you want to be a great writer you have to address this.
You don't get it, that's all.
For example after the climax, you know when Anne discovers the truth, the falling action, it's too abrupt. And the resolution is ambiguous. It leaves the reader ultimately unsatisfied.
Unsatisfied? You don't know what you're talking aboutYou're not a writer. You've been a school teacher for what, a year?
I know that if you can't take criticism you'll never make it as a writer.
I'm already a writer.
I know that if I don't get a rewrite by Monday ....
Yeah, then what? You're going to fail me? Good luck, I'm not rewriting.
I can't believe it. Mum have you seen this? To Nancy Burrows who pushed me to the next level with a stick called the truth.
What! You're kidding! Nancy Burrows .... wow!