COMEDIAN0:

Don't you just hate it when someone insults or makes fun of you, and you can't think of a witty come back to reply with? And then, suddenly, three hours later, you think of something funny and cutting to say? And you think, I wish I'd thought of that at the time The art of a good put down, a sharp come back, a funny one liner, or indeed any off the cuff witty remark, is hard to learnand may even just be a natural gift; you either have it, or you don't. You may not believe it to look at him, but Winston Churchill was just as famous for his sharp come backs and one liners as he was for making war time speeches.

Don't you just hate it when someone insults or makes fun of you, and you can't think of a witty come back to reply with? And then, suddenly, three hours later, you think of something funny and cutting to say? And you think, I wish I'd thought of that at the time The art of a good put down, a sharp come back, a funny one liner, or indeed any off the cuff witty remark, is hard to learn,and may even just be a natural gift; you either have it, or you don't. You may not believe it to look at him, but Winston Churchill was just as famous for his sharp come backs and one liners as he was for making war time speeches.
COMEDIAN1:

It got to the point that no one dared insult him. As they knew he would hit them with an instant, cutting, hilarious and often nasty come back. Take this one for an example, when a woman called Lady Astor said to him ....

It got to the point that no one dared insult him. As they knew he would hit them with an instant, cutting, hilarious and often nasty come back. Take this one for an example, when a woman called Lady Astor said to him ...
LADY ASTOR:

If I were married to you, I'd poison your coffee ...

If I were married to you, I'd poison your coffee ..
COMEDIAN:

Churchill replied ....

Churchill replied ...
CHURCHILL:

'If you were my wife, I'd drink it ...

'If you were my wife, I'd drink it ..
COMEDIAN0:

Woah! Now that's sharp! Another famous example is when the renowned playwright George Bernard Shaw left Churchill a note, inviting him to the opening of his new play .... Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come, and bring a friend if you have one ... Churchill wrote back .... 'Impossible to be present for the first performance.

Woah! Now that's sharp! Another famous example is when the renowned playwright George Bernard Shaw left Churchill a note, inviting him to the opening of his new play ... Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come, and bring a friend if you have one .. Churchill wrote back ... 'Impossible to be present for the first performance.
COMEDIAN1:

Will attend second, if there is one ... Not bad, huh? The effective 'come back'' is a bit like fighting fire with fire. The structure and the content of the come back reflects the structure and the content of the original insult, only funnier, and often nastier. The 'come back', or its close cousin, the 'put down', are two of the nastier forms of wit.

Will attend second, if there is one .. Not bad, huh? The effective 'come back' is a bit like fighting fire with fire. The structure and the content of the come back reflects the structure and the content of the original insult, only funnier, and often nastier. The 'come back', or its close cousin, the 'put down', are two of the nastier forms of wit.
COMEDIAN2:

Wit, however, is not just about being nasty, or even funny. It's about being clever. The wittiest man in the English language is generally held to be Oscar Wilde. Wilde, an Irish writer living in nineteenth century England, became renowned for his witty one liners. His witticisms were famous for their blend of truth, humor and a paradoxical nature, meaning that, through seeming to contradict himself he often hit upon something funny or profound.

Wit, however, is not just about being nasty, or even funny. It's about being clever. The wittiest man in the English language is generally held to be Oscar Wilde. Wilde, an Irish writer living in nineteenth century England, became renowned for his witty one liners. His witticisms were famous for their blend of truth, humor and a paradoxical nature, meaning that, through seeming to contradict himself he often hit upon something funny or profound.
COMEDIAN3:

Take this one for example .... WILDE: 'I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself ... This strikes me as very true. We love to give advice, but we never enjoy following it.

Take this one for example ... WILDE: 'I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself .. This strikes me as very true. We love to give advice, but we never enjoy following it.
COMEDIAN4:

And Wilde managed to put this in such a way that it was both funny and deep. How about this one, on the subject of romance ....

And Wilde managed to put this in such a way that it was both funny and deep. How about this one, on the subject of romance ...
WILDE:

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance''

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.'
COMEDIAN:

Wilde went to the US to do a lecture tour and, on arriving at Customs he was asked if he had anything to declare. He replied, completely off the cuff, that he had nothing to declare but his genius. Even when dying penniless in a cheap French hotel, Wilde was still able to make a smart remark. Looking up at the badly decorated room, his last words were ....

Wilde went to the US to do a lecture tour and, on arriving at Customs he was asked if he had anything to declare. He replied, completely off the cuff, that he had nothing to declare but his genius. Even when dying penniless in a cheap French hotel, Wilde was still able to make a smart remark. Looking up at the badly decorated room, his last words were ...
WILDE:

My wall paper and I are in a battle to the death, one or the other must go ...

My wall paper and I are in a battle to the death, one or the other must go ..
COMEDIAN:

Even in his last moments, it was in Wilde's nature to be witty. Perhaps some people are just born that way.

Even in his last moments, it was in Wilde's nature to be witty. Perhaps some people are just born that way.