Hello everyone! My name is Timothy Thompson and I'm here tonight to share with you an exciting new product. But first let me ask you three simple questions. Do you have any energy?
I have no energy.
Do you have a fever?
I have a temperature of 101..
Have your eyes been troubling you lately? Do they not quite seem to be the same shade anymore?
My liver is failing.
Well you know what that means. You're got axelphataltrinominitis! that's right axelphataltrinominitis! But fear not, because I Timothy Thompson am here to introduce you to my new wonder drug: 'Axcel-cide'. Made from imported herbs and spices from the Far East, just two drops of Axcel-cide every day, six times a day, three times an hour will ensure that your case of axelphataltrinominitis is a thing of the past.
That's right, But wait! There's more! Axcel-cide also works as a fantastic cleaning solvent. Got grime in your bathtub?
Axcel-cide it! Got stains on your clothes? Axcel-cide it! Got a nasty case of mildew in your grouting? Axcel-cide it!
Got gunk on the bottom of your favorite pots and pans? Axel-cide it! There's nothing Axcel-cide won't do to improve the quality of your home. Don't take my word for it. I discovered this miracle.
Have a little listen to these lovely ladies and gents who've tried and flaming love my product.